How to Write Great Characters

By David

There are several techniques you can use to write beautiful characters. For now, here are three.


1. Make them Imperfect.

Image of Ron Weasley from Wikipedia

Think of Ron Weasley. Think of Christian Bale’s character in The Fighter. Think of Kanye West.

They all have issues and imperfections. Flaws link us together; flaws make characters memorable.

2. Create a Contrast.

Image of the Joker from Wikipedia

There’s Batman and the Joker. There’s the dull narrator, and there’s the Great Gatsby. There’s the guy in the wheelchair, and then there’s his Avatar. 

Good and evil. Serious character and dorky best friend. Tight arse and wild child. Contrasts make your characters glow that little bit brighter. 

3. Give them a Problem to Solve (or a Problem that they can Never Solve).

Image of Juno from Wikipedia

Juno. Obama. Frankenstein. They all have some kind of problem to overcome. 

Some characters start with the problem, some gain their problems along the way. A lot of the time, it’s the problem that creates the story, and a lot of the time, it’s solving the problem that finally ends it. Sometimes, if you’re emo enough, you may even decide that the problem will never be solved.

These are just a few rules and techniques that have been proven to work in the past - but don't follow every rule by the book. Once rules are overdone and what was once creative becomes a norm, you may find that breaking these rules may lead you to better places. Our world is filled with annoying grey areas.

I’m done. Bye!

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Does Art Depend on our Suffering?

By David


One night, when I was drunk, I met this artist.

“About a few thousand years ago,” this artist told me, “I met this like, really influential businessman. This businessman, this businessman pointed at the world around us and said, ‘Know what? I can get rid of all the suffering in the world for you. But in doing so, nobody in this world will be allowed to create anything even remotely artistic. You won’t be allowed to have books, you won’t be able to make your pretty little drawings, you won’t be able to sing. But, don’t ask me how, you’re going to be content with the world. Forever.’ The influential businessman, this big intimidating motherfucker of a guy with this funny Hollywood gangster accent, he grabbed my wrist with one hand and pointed at me with the other and said, ‘so you got two choices: art, or eternal happiness. What're you gonna pick?’” The artist, looking at me sarcastically, concluded his story with: “I had a minute to decide, so I chose art. So now, you’re drunk and I’m in debt.”

Gogh. Plath. Hemingway. Elliot Smith! There are (were) a lot of sad, creative people out there.  Would the lives and works of artists such as Van Gogh have been a lot more different if they’d lived a little easier? We create enormous buildings for the sole purpose of hosting paintings and statues. People go inside them, staring at the paintings, staring at the statues, and they think. They think and they think and they think. They may be thinking about the work they’re looking at, they may not; but that doesn’t matter: the important and the confusing part about this all is that such buildings even exist. We need for them to exist; they need to be there for us to function. Why must we paint stars in the night? Why must we plaster “Change” on every wall? Why must we dance to more than one song?

A close friend of mine couldn’t move on from her ex-boyfriend. She was so crushed she decided to start writing poetry. Intense, nipple numbing poetry. She wrote so much poetry she decided to dedicate an entire website to her poetry. After some time, she met a new man. He smiled at her, and her poems stopped for good.

Waltz #2, by Elliot Smith: 

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Charles Bukowski’s Tales of Ordinary Madness: an example of how you can bend the rules and still sound good

By David

Image from goodreads.com

 -
I got up, walked over to the bride’s mother, ripped her skirt back to her thighs, kissed her quickly upon her pretty knees and began to kiss my way upwards. 

The candlelight helped. Everything. 

“Hey!” She awakened suddenly, “whatcha think you’re doing?”

“I’m going to fuck the shit out of you, I am going to fuck you until the shit falls outa your ass! Whatcha thinka that?” 

She pushed and I fell backwards upon the rug. Then I was flat upon my back, thrashing, trying to get up. 

“Damned Amazon!” I screamed at her. 

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Tales of Ordinary Madness, by Charles Bukowski, has grown on me. Filled with Bukowski’s notorious drunkenness and reclusiveness and humour and womanising assholishness, each raw piece of this short story collection reminds me that writers are human after all. Sometimes we’re so wrapped in the rules of literature that we forget the beauty in imperfection. 

I have a feeling that a lot (if not all) of the stories in Tales of Ordinary Madness were unedited and written by Bukowski while he was drunk or high on something. In stories like No Stockings, some of his sentences simply cut short. You can also forget about capital letters and any evidence of harmony; Bukowski’s characters are damned and chaotic. Nonetheless, his stories work; they rattle you. 

Tales of Ordinary Madness is definitely my refreshing read for the week. My favourite story in the book? Rape! Rape!

You can find out more about the book online somewhere or buy it straight via Amazon here:

Bye!

...........

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Be Bond, be James Bond

by Alvin

I'm a big James Bond fan.. though, not fanatic enough to have every single piece of Bond related, capitalist driven junk in my possession; I'm merely a humble, simple servant that is in love with the prestige & indulgences of the character.

Now don't write me any hate-mail; Sean Connery WAS the best Bond yet, but many would agree that Daniel Craig is the king of the hill in reign - & being the metro that I am: have him as my style icon & man crush.. suits i love, from charcoal, navy blue & grey, with notched lapels, double-side vents, a pocket square to keep the top pocket company etc - whoosh, don't get me started.  But what's lacking is bits & pieces to truly be in her Majesty's secret service.

After some searching, below could be the tip of Roc's beak of what one can hide on himself at that charity ball or wedding; ready for some tactical espionage action!


Novonic E-Blocker suit

First of all, are the threads.  A revolutionary range in gadget tailoring - the E-Blocker line of suits - incorporate a lining made out of a specially coated yarn that creates an electromagnetic barrier capable of fending off mobile phone & blue-tooth rays.

MI6 awesome kind of stuff that can stop pesky Quantum & SPECTRE agents from blue-tooth hacking your smart-phone or sensitive, world saving electronic - doubling also as a better-than-nothing shield against radiation..

contact Novonic's Q for the lend..


Credit card lock-pick set

I guess the obvious thing to do is not get that mixed up with your actual VISA card; embarrassing yourself at the cashier in front of the pretty counter lady: "Oh dear, I'm sure my credit bills were paid?!".

Thin enough to replicate an exact card; sliding it out reveals a compartment with lock picking tools ready at your disposal.  Who says paying the bills isn't.. um.. nah, i got nothing witty to add there..

Pick it up here.. & oh, they accept credit ;)



USB Flash drive Cufflinks

It pays to be fasionable & practical - these babies; with their silver like finish blend well with any formal affair without looking tacky, thanks to it's simple & stylish design & make.  But of course, when the spy in you kicks in - & you've made your way into the evil genius' study; picking the door's lock with your trust credit card lock pick set.

Where else can you download the plans for his evil death ray dematerializer than onto these 2GB of cunning cuffs.  & if you get caught, the goons will be looking all the way to China for that USB flash drive - unaware of your unique fashion senses.

Make your way to the link before someone else gets wise.



iphone controlled Parrot A.R.Drone

Commercial spyware technology at it's best.

Ever wanted to put your iphone to better use than preventing flight path collisions?  A mini helicopter has been built that is totally controllable via an iphone or other Apple device, using an app called A.R.Pursuit.. the copter is capable of taking off & landing in both outdoor & indoor environments, is built with four propellers & two video cameras that can stream images & info back to the controlling device..

if that's got you salivating like it's BBQ pork ribs on your plate - the app software ties into a virtual reality shooting game where players fly around, shooting other players with virtual missiles & machine guns.

Expect 15 mins of operating time on 1 hour of charge.. though I don't think it's out yet, it's single-handedly one of the most expected apps/products this year.



Stinger Pen Pistol

Nothing says Bond more than a weapon concealed as an innocent looking writing tool.  This is the real deal, an actual writing pen that with a twist & a pull down: converts into a fireable pistol - able to shoot a single bullet, which would force you to use it for self defence or for close quarter assassinations.. I wouldn't rely on it in a mexican stand-off or fire fight with other spooks.

I'm not sure where these can be readily sought at besides auctions & collector.. um.. places.  But if you happen to grace your presence with one, maybe fire me off a message.. hehe.



Tie clip camera

Another fashionable piece of advice.. you wanna know what would make your tie that little bit of extra not-boring?  A tie clip.. wait for it.. with a hidden microphone & camera!

Able to transmit & record audio & MPEG4 video; viewable from a reciever unit supplied.  This would make scoping an event for that elusive secret society member that much easier - Get him to divulge some secrets, then BAM! all recorded & none the wiser.

Though, I wonder how bulky this would actually be - hiding underneath your tie & shirt & in your suit jacket.. M would definitely have it ordered from places like this.. so if you're interested..




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Random Optical Illusion of the Day.. 2!

by Alvin

... Sorry, no tips.. okay maybe one: if all else fails, stare while slowly moving the opposite of forward & focus on the - sp_ce.


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And now a word from the bros:

We're building an awesome video game app, so we need cash bad! Please help this nutso project of ours come to life by making a small PayPal donation. With your donation, you'll be able to help us hire developers and put a bright new game into phones and tablets worldwide.

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